Influence Coaching

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Who are your allies and advocates?

PHOTO CREDIT: By Roosevelt, Franklin D. (Franklin Delano), - This media is available in the holdings of the National Archives and Records Administration, cataloged under the National Archives Identifier (NAID) 196609., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=59250

In the photo above, we see the Pacific Allies of World War Two. From left to right, Chiang Kai-shek (China), Franklin D. Roosevelt (USA), and Winston Churchill (UK) meeting at the Cairo Conference in 1943.

So, who are your allies and advocates?

Think about this question as soon as possible. Never miss an opportunity to build these relationships.

Why? Leadership is not just about getting stuff done. It is about getting stuff done through relationships. To quote Barry Posner, co-author of The Leadership Challenge, "You can make a difference, but you can't do it alone."

For successful influence (and after all, this site is all about “influence coaching”), we need to know who our allies and advocates are. Moreover, we need to be continually developing and strengthening these relationships.

Remember the principle of reciprocity - we tend to get back in return what we give to others.

(BTW: Adam Grant has done a really cool TED talk on the idea of “givers,” “takers,” and “matchers” in the workplace. Check it out below.)

Let’s define our terms.

Allies

These people work with you toward a common goal. They run alongside you, and sometimes they even push you to finish well. In Barbara Kellerman’s book Followership: How Followers are Creating Change and Changing Leaders, she describes four types of followers. One of those types apply to “allies.”

Participants. These allies provide the energy you need to move your vision forward. Activists feel strongly enough to invest limited resources for the cause.

While “followers” or “followership” may sound demeaning, we are really talking about “partner” relationships. Kellerman points out that good followers support good leaders and resist bad ones. They resist or redirect leaders when they are off course. That’s one reason you need these kinds of partners for your success. As Ira Chaleff puts it in his book The Courageous Follower, partner-followers are able to speak up for their leaders and they are able to speak up to their leaders.

Another way to identify allies - who can you delegate something to with confidence? If the answer is “no one,” then you are in trouble.

Advocates

These allies will not only work with you, but who will also speak up for you. To borrow from Barbara Kellerman’s Followership model, think of advocates as activists and die hards.

Activists. These allies will make noise for your cause.

Die Hards. These allies are willing to make an even bigger investment in the cause than activists, because die hards are willing to risk reputation - even life and limb. These are the allies who will take a bullet for you.

Now, let’s make applications.

There are a number of ways you can develop allies and advocates both inside and outside of your organization. Many of these actions are simply ways of showing that you value people, actions of kindness that often get lost when organizations emphasize tasks over relationships. Admittedly this takes some additional creativity and energy during a season of social distancing, but it is still doable.

To develop allies and advocates inside your organization:

  • Invite a co-worker to attend a professional conference with you. Even experiencing virtual conferences “together” can have benefit.

  • Talk about shared interests besides work.

  • Develop mentoring relationships that focus on a specific skill or discipline.

  • Publicly recognize a job well done.

  • Reach out to a coworker that you haven’t interacted with since the start of Covid-19.

To develop allies and advocates outside your organization:

  • Attend a professional conference to meet like-minded individuals.

  • Join one of the many shared-interest groups on LinkedIn. Note: just joining is not enough to really connect. You also need to engage in the conversations taking place within that group.

  • Reach out to a professional contact that you haven’t interacted with since the start of Covid-19.

Bonus: Here’s a chance to practice the Golden Rule (or variations thereof).

The Golden Rule has been humorously paraphrased as “he who has the gold makes the rules.” And while I’ll admit there is some truth there, that rule is pretty precarious. Why? Because few (perhaps, none) of us will always be the gold maker. That’s certainly the case when you are trying to get things done without positional power.

So try treating others the way you would like to be treated. It’s a great way to make allies and advocates. Better yet - find out what people need, and treat them the way they want to be treated. Adam Grant calls this “the platinum rule.”

Because leaders are change agents, and change brings opposition, leaders will naturally face opposition. Sometimes leaders respond to this opposition by quitting. Other times they respond by demonizing those who resist change. This brings us to another reason that allies and advocates are so important.

Disciplined leaders continually develop allies and advocates who can help encourage the change process, and they look for opportunities to develop alliances with those who oppose them rather than simply demonize the opposition (which is one of the reasons our current political climate is so toxic).

As a fitting conclusion for our discussion of allies and advocates, consider this saying from Hebrew Wisdom Literature:

Though one may be overpowered,two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Allies and advocates are necessary for the influence part of your leadership. Their support will make sure you are not quickly broken.

PHOTO CREDIT: @saskiaworldwide via Unsplash

Key Idea: Leadership is not just about accomplishing tasks. Leadership includes building productive relationships

One of the best tools I’ve found for creating “productive relationships” is the concept of a designed alliance. When you create a designed alliance, you slow down long enough to get clear on the goal of what you are doing together, why it is important, who is responsible for what, how you are going to do that, how you will measure and celebrate success, and what you will do when things get off track. (‘Cause hey, it’s a crazy world out there. Stuff happens.) Designed alliances build and reinforce ally and advocate relationships.

With that in mind, one of my most popular workshops is How to Transform Conflict into Collaboration. In that workshop we:

  • Identify participants dominant communication style during conflict.

  • Discover other styles.

  • Determine when best to use those other styles to accomplish the organization’s goals.

  • Learn two sentences that will ALWAYS move the conversation away from conflict and toward collaboration.

  • Apply those two sentences to create designed alliances.

To learn more about how you can bring one of these workshops to your organization, or how you can experience this material in a one to one coaching engagement, click the button below.

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