How to Beat Ineffectiveness
Photo Credit: @Benwhitephotography via Unsplash.
What Ineffectiveness Is
In my previous posts on burnout, I explained "emotional exhaustion" and "depersonalization." Now let's address the third dimension of burnout: a “lack of personal accomplishment.” We'll call it “ineffectiveness.” It often shows up as a lack of self-confidence.
Burnout is about a mismatch between the demands of the job and the resources available. So "ineffectiveness" makes sense as a marker for burnout. When we have to keep working, in spite of lacking the needed resources, it’s hard to feel effective!
Why Ineffectiveness Matters
When you feel ineffective, it impacts both your confidence and self-esteem. That impacts how you approach your work and your relationships. Those who lack confidence often engage in more “avoiding” or “accommodating” behaviors. Those same behaviors lead to increased resentment, anxiety, and depression.
How to Recognize Ineffectiveness
Sometimes, feeling ineffective creeps up on us. As time goes on, we recognize a growing gap between what “success” looks like and where we are now in our career.
Other times, our success metrics no longer serve us. When you feel like things are never “good enough,” you're setting yourself up for feeling ineffective. In the past, those standards drove you to success. Now they may be the very thing in the way of your success. Why? Because perfectionism and ineffectiveness go together.
Do you often feel the need to "go it alone" in order to prove yourself? That's setting you up for ineffectiveness as well. Why? Because the more responsibility you have, the more you need other people to make things happen.
What to Do About Ineffectiveness
First, create your own success metrics. Get clear on your core values and allow them to help you define success. When you create your own success metrics, you start to measure what matters most. Stop depending on comparison with others to define your success.
Next, separate strengths, weaknesses, and liabilities. Strengths are the things you do well and energize you. Get clear on what they are and make sure you tap into them. They will help you feel effective (which pushes back on “ineffectiveness”). Your strengths will give you energy (pushing back on emotional exhaustion). And, your strengths will keep you engaged (pushing back against depersonalization).
The next bit is to separate your weaknesses and liabilities. “Liabilities” are the weaknesses that actually hurt you. They keep you from achieving your goals. You’ve got to fix liabilities, because they are a real threat to your leadership.
The other stuff are “weaknesses,” meaning they are less than ideal. Make peace with these. When you fret over them, you allow them to make you feel ineffective. The tragedy here is that the opposite is true. When you move forward on meaningful goals in spite of weaknesses, that's impressive!
Finally, watch out for the “judge” voice. We have an “inner critic” that loves to point our flaws and shortcomings. Sometimes this voice screams at us about our failures and the utter ruin that awaits us because of those failures. That voice hijacks our confidence and self-esteem. Don't give it so much power. One to way to watch out for your judge is to pay attention to your attention.
For Reflection
Spend the next week answering these questions for yourself. Give them the time they deserve, and answer one question per day.
How does your sense of effectiveness impact the way you approach your work and personal life?
Who’s values determine your success metrics? Yours or someone else’s?
How often do you tap into your strengths?
How do you distinguish between “liabilities” and “weaknesses”?
What does your “judge” voice sound like?
If you changed how you responded to the judge voice, what would that create for you?
For more on beating ineffectiveness, listen to the audio version of chapter 8 from my book on How to Beat Burnout for Yourself, Your Family, and Your Team.